A few weeks ago, I got a bit cross about the perceived need to get a bloody degree at any cost (and, quite frankly, in any subject) in the pursuit of Blair's pointless dream of education times three. It occurred to me at the time that almost all of the current Coalition Government and their shadows in the Labour Party are all graduates, mostly in PPE from Oxbridge colleges.
It further occurred to me that almost none of them had ever held down what the rest of us might reasonably understand as a "proper job", as opposed to hundreds of ordinary MPs who have worked for a living before seeking public office but haven't an ice cube's chance in Hell of ever getting close to a cabinet post and thereby any real say in the running the country.
Time to investigate this a little more thoroughly, I think...and we may as well start with my favourite:
George Gideon Oliver Osborne: Chancellor of the Exchequer (40)
(Mr G. GOO, then - jut a step backwards from Mr & Mrs Watt naming their son Thomas, really). Anyway, Giddy was so good at writing stuff down that he thought he might become a journalist but his daddy was a baronet and had a posh wallpaper business so he wasn't that well acquainted with the "dirty digger"and as little thickie Giddy could only manage a second in History at Oxford and it was clear he couldn't be trusted with the family business...well, it had to be politics. So it was straight to Conservative Party Central Office and after no time at all he was in the research department, then at MAFF as a special advisor and almost immediately on to being bag carrier for Hague, the then party leader. (Yes! He was! Honest!) In 2001, he was given the constituency of Tatton in Cheshire (sorry, I meant to say he was elected as MP there) after the "Man in the White Suit" stood down.
Conclusion: No proper job. Ever.
Edward Tarquin Twistleton-Smythe-Balls: (only joking - Edward Michael Balls) Shadow Chancellor (44)
Ed Balls joined the Labour Party when he was 16 but was also a member of the Oxford University Conservative Association - ha! Kept that one quiet, didn't he? He fiddled about for a couple of years as a "writer" for the FT, spouting Labour rhetoric during the press's campaigns against an ailing Thatcher and a hapless Major before becoming one of a hoard of lackeys to Gordon Brown in 1994. This lead to him becoming chief economic advisor to Brown in the latter's early years as Chancellor before the party rewarded him with the retiring Bill O'Brien's seat in West Yorkshire. I'd like to think that the Labour Party found Balls as odious as I do and had worked out that the Boundary Commission were about to abolish his seat and create an even more tenuous constituency at Morley and Outwood, which may itself be abolished in the next round of changes, thus easing Balls out altogether (sorry...that sounded a bit rude).
Conclusion: No proper job. (Writing a bit doesn't count)
Daniel Grian "Beaker" Alexander: Chief Secretary to the Treasury (39)
After graduating in PPE at...guess where...Oxford, Danny Boy "worked" as a press officer for the Scottish Lib Dems before becoming Director of Communications for the European Movement (a pressure group for greater European integration whose president was former/current drunk Charles Kennedy) and then the same job in its successor, "Britain in Europe". After that, he was Head of Communications for the Cairngorms National Park NGO. In 2005, the new constituency of Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch & Strathspey (all one constituency) got Danny as their MP. Amongst his jobs for the Lib Dems was, in 2007, Shadow Secretary of State for Social Exclusion. I had no idea that there was a Secretary of State to actively exclude parts of society, but it makes sense now.
Conclusion: No proper job.
Harriet Ruth Harperson QC: Deputy Leader of the Labour Party and Shadow Secretary of State for International Development (61)
Privately educated daughter of a doctor and a lawyer, Harriet studied politics at York. After she qualified she had a string of jobs practising law with organisations such as the Brent Law Centre and the National Council for Civil Liberties (now "Liberty") fighting social injustices and taking on cases where human rights and discrimination were at the core of the actions. Then she went an ruined everything by taking a parliamentary seat when she could, even now, have been side by side with Shami, kicking ass. Instead, she got sucked into the vortex that was the bitter and ugly wrangling within New Labour and came out stinking of shit like the rest of them. And she married Jack Dromey. What a fucking waste.
Conclusion: Had a kind of proper job and then threw it all away.
I could go on...so I will, but briefly...
David William Donald Cameron: Prime Minister (44)
Eton / Oxford / Conservative Party Researcher / Conservative Central Office / Special Advisor / Carlton Communications / MP / Party Leader / Prime Minister
Conclusion: No proper job (Telly doesn't count)
David Linsay Willetts: Minister for Universities and Science (55)
Oxford / Political Researcher / Tory Monetary Policy Head Wonk / Think Tankery (Centre for Policy Studies) / MP / Minister / Obtained "Second Brain" sometime in 2000.
Conclusion: No proper job.
Nicholas William Peter Clegg: Deputy Prime Minister (44)
Ski Instructor / Cambridge / European Commission / MEP / MP / Liberal Democrat Leader / Cabinet
Conclusion: No proper job but quite good at skiing.
Caroline Patricia Lucas: Leader of the Green Party (50)
Malvern Girls' College / Exeter University / CND / Green Party Council / MEP / MP
Conclusion: No proper job. Weird eyebrows.
Get the picture?
I don't know about you but I find this a bit scary.
And it's not just here in Britain either. All over the world, in those nations states that we believe are democracies, it's the same. And in the UN. The world is being run by a political class; one that has little or no experience of the world of employment (or unemployment), of struggle, discrimination and inequality that the rest of us inhabit.
Critics might say, "Well..you voted for them - so you get the governments you deserve, don't you?" But we don't have a choice. The political parties are infested with these careerists who ascend to positions of power bankrolled by wealthy power brokers or, Lord help us, the Unions. Our governments in the last few decades have been ceded power by as little as 25% of the electorate and yet still believe that that gives them the franchise to run stuff.
This isn't just a rant: Here's a solution on Constitutional Reform:
Let's leave Parliament as it is for now but bring in some quick and dirty rule changes for membership of the Commons:
1) All MPs must be aged 50 years or more
2) All MPs must have held down a "Proper Job" for at least fifteen years (see Appendix 1 below for list of qualifying jobs - combinations permitted as long as the fifteen years are completed. Appendix 2 lists occupations that are exclusions from qualification)
3) A maximum of 5% of elected MPs are Oxbridge graduates
4) A maximum of 5% of elected MPs attended fee-paying schools
Appendix 1:
"Proper Job" Qualifiers
Nurses
Doctors
Fire-fighters
Paramedics
Law Enforcement Officers
Building Trade Workers
Drivers
Manufacturers
Educators
Scientists
Engineers
Volunteers
Butchers
Bakers
All Artisans
Charity Workers
Social Workers
Any other Public Sector workers
Any Work With Your Hands (sex workers excluded)
Farmers / Agricultural Workers
Gardeners
Postal Workers
Any Office Worker (but see appendix 2 below)
The self-employed (but see appendix 2 below)
Hospitality Workers
Writers and Artists
Or Just Being...
- Shami Chakrabarti
- Will Self
- Sir Patrick Moore
- Ian Hislop
- Richard Ingrams (oh...if only)
- ...and so many other lovely people
Appendix 2:
Employment Exclusions
Merchant Bankers
Think Tank Wonks
Political Research Wonks
Union Leaders
Chief Executives
Spies
Drug Dealers
Pimps
Convicted Criminals
Current Chancellors of the Exchequer
Ed Balls
Ant and/or Dec
Philip Green
Richard Branson
Fraser Nelson
A.N. Wilson
Max "Hitler" Hastings
Professional Sportspeople
Actors
Horses (I just worry a bit about Caligula's Incitatus incident)
I'll precis all of this and put it up as a No 10 Petition...if I can be arsed...
....And that is why, principally, I get the government I deserve.
No comments:
Post a Comment