In this irregular series on my blog, I'll be setting out the game show formats that I've been submitting to the Commissioning Editors and Producers of Channel 5 just to see how far they might be prepared to go. I despair of Channel 5 more than I do of BBC3 but, in their defence, all of my ideas have been either ignored or, in one case, critically rejected, which means that someone actually read beyond the title!
No. 2: Universities: Challenged!
Game Show Scenario:
English Higher Education System-based contest
Production: Studio with Audience: Critical Element - see below
Production: Studio with Audience: Critical Element - see below
Contestants:
Vice-Chancellors of Universities leading a team of two faculty heads from their college(s).
Format:
Sixteen Vice-Chancellors' teams go head-to-head in eight first round contests on a knock-out basis with four quarter-finals, two semi-finals and a grand final over a fifteen weeks series - Mid June to end September.
Objective:
Teams must persuade a panel of nine potential under-graduate students and one post-graduate student to apply to their University.
Method:
Each team has five minutes to present their case. The panel then has five minutes to question the team. The winning team must secure a majority of the panel. The grand final presentations and question times are increased to ten minutes.
At the end of the panel's questions, the audience is invited to make comments - another five minute slot.
In the event of a 5-5 draw, the audience vote will decide the winner (see below)
The panels:
The panels of potential students are different for each contest and represent the appropriate demographic of university applicants from the previous academic year (England only - the vagaries of fee systems for foreign students and those in Scotland and Wales would make the contest too complex). The panels are rigged to ensure that the result is a 5-5 draw (see audience vote, below)
At the end of the panel's questions, the audience is invited to make comments - another five minute slot.
In the event of a 5-5 draw, the audience vote will decide the winner (see below)
The panels:
The panels of potential students are different for each contest and represent the appropriate demographic of university applicants from the previous academic year (England only - the vagaries of fee systems for foreign students and those in Scotland and Wales would make the contest too complex). The panels are rigged to ensure that the result is a 5-5 draw (see audience vote, below)
Vice Chancellors' Presentation Materials:
There are no restrictions. In order that these pitches represent "real life", the team can make up loads of crap about their University's results, fees and what happens to their graduates. They are allowed to bring along one alumnus to underline their claims (optional).
Jokers:
Opposing teams can bring in a 'Joker" at any point in the contest. Examples of Jokers might be:
- Ed Balls, to explain how undemocratic Oxbridge Colleges are if one of them is your opposing team (might backfire, of course, as he went to Oxford)
- Jeremy Paxman, to sneer, if your opposition is red-brick.
- A post graduate from the opposing university who had a really shit time, a crap education and no job at the end of it
This is a moderator's role including introductions and time-keeping plus the key element of controlling the five-minute audience slot.
Target talent: David Mitchell / Alexei Sayle / Victoria Beckham / Ant and/or Dec / Pete Doherty
Audience:
THIS IS THE CRITICAL ISSUE IN THE SHOW
The audience role is pivotal.
The Moderator invites the audience to "participate" by asking questions of the Team (or the panel, if they wish...or themselves). It's largely irrelevant due to the demographic of the invited audience. These must be D or E types, preferably jobless, living off state benefits, travellers or the itinerant homeless with a fair smattering of drunks and smack-heads. No graduates.
At the end of each presentation, panel questions and their own five minutes of participation, the audience will hold up their placards. One side of the placard is red, with the words "Elitist Bastards", and the other, green, with the legend, "Marginally Less Elitist Bastards"
As all the contests will result in split decisions by the panel, this audience vote will be the decider and the Team with the most "green" placards will be the winner.
Prizes:
The winners of the grand final will be permitted to increase their fees to £50,000 p.a. with no restrictions on entrants. This will be achieved by a special members bill introduced by "Two-Brains"Willetts. The losing finalist university will be able to go to a maximum of £30,000 p.a., with a restriction that 1% of entrants should be "a little bit poor".
Revenue Streams:
Website advertising: A/B/C1 targets
Site visitors encouraged to join as "University Challengers" - members of the site - funded email shots from advertisers
TV Advertising: A/B/C1 targets only
20.00 - 23.00 Weekly 45 minutes - three breaks
Network Distribution: Target markets in India & Japan
(c) 2011 FourCol TVTrash Inc.
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